i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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