Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Floor bacon is actually really good
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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