Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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