apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
