I wanna passion pit in your ass
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
