This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
