That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
