turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
should my penis look like a turkey
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
