i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize