you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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