My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
