I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
