Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
where are my eyebrows?
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