So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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