Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
