a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
