benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
