my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
