come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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