He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
