from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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