Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
