Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
