it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
