my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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