Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
