soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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