I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
dude. I can hear the air.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
