Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize