? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
