Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
