Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
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