I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
