so explain again why im purple
no
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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