I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize