Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I wish I only lived at night.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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