no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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