Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
