State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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