I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
