I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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