I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
