I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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