I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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