just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
