I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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