I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
