I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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