Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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