Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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