Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
a search helicopter?!
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
