Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I enjoy the company of your penis
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
