I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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