I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
