Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
