The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
