Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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