Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
